Wake Up and Smell the Shit: Hilarious Travel Disasters, Monstrous Toilets, and a Demon Dildo, published by Travelers’ Tales (USA) and edited by Kirsten Koza, is now available in both paperback and as an ebook at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Powell’s, RedBrazil.com (busts Amazon’s price on paperback), and Amazon Canada, Chapters Indigo, ibooks and at fine independent bookstores.
Stand back! The 31 tales in this raunchy round-the-world romp might get you dirty. 
We’ve all had unspeakable experiences while traveling that we’re ashamed to admit, but these often become our best stories in the retelling. The writers in this collection cast inhibition aside and reveal their weirdest and worst moments and how they made the best of them. And memorable moments in exotic destinations come in all shapes and sizes: insects as big as Pam Anderson’s left tit, regrettable sex, stink-eyed officials, horrible healers, Lady Gaga’s shoes and Madonna’s special meal, trigger-happy militants, and peeping Tom rock stars.
Adventure vicariously as:
- Spud Hilton (not Monty Python) finds the Holy Grail by accident in Spain.
- Meghan Ward squats, and then the toilet grunts back, in Goa.
- Kasha Rigby proved how tough she is on National Geographic’s Ultimate Survival Alaska, but is she a match for a 90-year-old bone breaker in Guatemala?
- Namibians stereotype Chinese men as Bruce Lee—Gerald Yeung wonders if attacking baboons will do the same.
- Keph Senett (hoping not to follow in the footsteps of Pussy Riot) braves bombs, police and a Soviet-era sofa bed to play soccer at the LGBT games in Putin’s Russia.
- Jabba-the-Turd versus Shannon Bradford in an epic showdown in Argentina.
And many more…
Check out contributor trip photos and join the fun on our Facebook page.
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
Introduction
Don’t Push the Button!
KIRSTEN KOZA (Editor)
Kyrgyzstan and Canada
Kap’n Cy
GARY BUSLIK
Amsterdam
You Go in the Morning, I Go at Night
EMMA THIEME
Caribbean Sea
My latest article in TheBlot magazine (“14 Dictators and the Dickshit Things They Said”) was a blast to research. Did you know that one of the assassination attempts on Castro involved exploding mollusks or that Putin is a member of the Hells Angels?
You can read my three-part Syrian series at TheBlot Magazine (Wall St. New York).
Call for Humorous Travel Stories for Travelers’ Tales Anthology: Wake Up and Smell the Shit
I’m the editor for Wake Up and Smell the Shit, the Travelers’ Tales 2015 anthology of outrageous travel misadventures. You’re invited to submit your true stories of shitting, barfing, farting, bad situations, snakes, demons, hookers, robberies, accidents, peculiar medical procedures, hilarious sex-ploits, gun-toting drug crazed militants, or bureaucrats gone wild. This book can have it all. We want crazy travel stories that will make the reader laugh as they wake to the realities we are often protected from at home.
Travelers’ Tales is dubbed “the travel publishing giant” by Matador. Their books and stories are often award winning, sometimes bestselling, and the quality of writing is exceptional. If you’re not a pro at submitting to publishers, a good tip is to always read some of their work before sending them yours.
I’m looking forward to reading about your shitty trips, rollicking disasters, and upchuck-worthy experiences abroad.
THIS PAST EXPEDITION WAS COMPLETED IN 2014
There is only room for five women on our Amazon River Boat Adventure. We’ll be departing from the bustling jungle capital of Iquitos, and leaving civilization to head to the jungle wilderness. The boat is owned by the proprietor of my favourite restaurant (Dawn on the Amazon – same name as the boat) in Iquitos, Peru.
Our Captain told me: The middle of November is a transitional water level period that varies from year to year. Water is rising from the low. How high it is will be will determine our destination. The Nanay River always has a navigable channel (read more…)