Wake Up and Smell the Shit: Hilarious Travel Disasters, Monstrous Toilets, and a Demon Dildo, published by Travelers’ Tales (USA) and edited by Kirsten Koza: the best price for a new paperback is at the publisher’s bookshop, and it is always available as an ebook on Amazon, and on Kobo, and also at Barnes & Noble, Amazon Canada, ibooks, at fine independent bookstores, and in libraries.
You can read the first five chapters for free on Google Play.
Stand back! The 31 tales in this raunchy round-the-world romp might get you dirty.
We’ve all had unspeakable experiences while traveling that we’re ashamed to admit, but these often become our best stories in the retelling. The writers in this collection cast inhibition aside and reveal their weirdest and worst moments and how they made the best of them. And memorable moments in exotic destinations come in all shapes and sizes: insects as big as Pam Anderson’s left tit, regrettable sex, stink-eyed officials, horrible healers, Lady Gaga’s shoes and Madonna’s special meal, trigger-happy militants, and peeping Tom rock stars.
Adventure vicariously as:
- Spud Hilton (not Monty Python) finds the Holy Grail by accident in Spain.
- Meghan Ward squats, and then the toilet grunts back, in Goa.
- Kasha Rigby proved how tough she is on National Geographic’s Ultimate Survival Alaska, but is she a match for a 90-year-old bone breaker in Guatemala?
- Namibians stereotype Chinese men as Bruce Lee—Gerald Yeung wonders if attacking baboons will do the same.
- Keph Senett (hoping not to follow in the footsteps of Pussy Riot) braves bombs, police and a Soviet-era sofa bed to play soccer at the LGBT games in Putin’s Russia.
- Jabba-the-Turd versus Shannon Bradford in an epic showdown in Argentina.
And many more…
Check out contributor trip photos and join the fun on our Facebook page.
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
Introduction
Don’t Push the Button!
KIRSTEN KOZA (Editor)
Kyrgyzstan and Canada
Kap’n Cy
GARY BUSLIK
Amsterdam
You Go in the Morning, I Go at Night
EMMA THIEME
Caribbean Sea
The Wind that Shakes the Barley
JOHANNA GOHMANN
Dublin
If Pigs Could Fly
MEGHAN WARD
Goa, India
When the Empire Strikes Back
PAULA LEE
England and France
Costa Rican Red and a Golden Shower
BETH MERCER
Nosara, Costa Rica
A Real Good Deal
DANA TALUSANI
Cancún
The Battle of Waterkloof
GERALD YEUNG
Namibia
Cold London Summer
NIGEL ROTH
London, England
Going Feral in Filoha
VANESSA VAN DOREN
Filoha, Ethiopia
Because It Was a Sunday
REDA WIGLE
Foz do Iguaçu, Brazil
The Chocolate Egg Bomber
ELIZABETH TASKER
Japan to Vietnam
Friendly Skies
GAZELLE PAULO
International
The Córdoban Crap
SHANNON BRADFORD
Córdoba, Argentina
My Night in a Shipping Container
DAVE FOX
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
A Bad Day
JON PENFOLD
Tennessee
The Holy Grail
SPUD HILTON
Valencia, Spain
The Spittle Express
SCOTT MORLEY
China
“’Allo! ’allo, ’allo, ’ahhhhhllo!”
KATKA LAPELOSOVÁ
Budapest
A Bed of Fists
KEPH SENETT
Moscow
The Big Forehead of Newfoundland
DAWN MATHESON
Newfoundland
A Real Piece of Americana
SARAH ENELOW
Moscow
The Bone Breaker
KASHA RIGBY
Guatemala
A Tale of Two Toilets
LEANNE SHIRTLIFFE
Ambalangoda, Sri Lanka
Spanking It in the South Pacific
TOM GATES
Yaqeta Island, Fiji
Biannual Belgian Blowout
KIMBERLEY LOVATO
Brussels
What I Did in the Doll House
SEAN O’REILLY
Massachusetts
Love in a Black Jeep Wrangler
KYLE KEYSER
Hawaii
Africa à la Carte
JILL PARIS
Lamu, Kenya
Postcard from Kenya
ANDREW SCHWARTZ
Kenya
I Had a Passion for the Christ
MELANIE HAMLETT
Florida
Non-Fiction, Travel, Humor Anthology