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Wake Up and Smell the Shit: Hilarious Travel Disasters, Monstrous Toilets, and a Demon Dildo

Wake Up and Smell the Shit: Hilarious Travel Disasters, Monstrous Toilets, and a Demon Dildo, published by Travelers’ Tales (USA) and edited by Kirsten Koza, arrives this autumn in bookstores and of course will be available at all the online booksellers as well. There is a pre-order discount on Amazon if you order now.

Stand back! The tales in this raunchy round-the-world romp might get you dirty.

We’ve all had unspeakable experiences while traveling that we’re ashamed to admit, but these often become our best stories in the retelling. The writers in this collection cast inhibition aside and reveal their weirdest and worst moments and how they made the best of them. And memorable moments in exotic destinations come in all shapes and sizes: insects as big as Pam Anderson’s left tit, regrettable sex, stink-eyed officials, horrible healers, Lady Gaga’s shoes and Madonna’s special meal, trigger-happy militants, and peeping Tom rock stars.

Adventure vicariously as:

  • Spud Hilton (not Monty Python) finds the Holy Grail by accident.
  • Meghan Ward squats, and then the toilet grunts back, in Goa.
  • Kasha Rigby proved how tough she is on National Geographic’s Ultimate Survival Alaska, but is she a match for a 90-year-old bone breaker in Guatemala?
  • Namibians stereotype Chinese men as Bruce Lee—Gerald Yeung wonders if attacking baboons will do the same.
  • Keph Senett (hoping not to follow in the footsteps of Pussy Riot) braves bombs, police and a Soviet-era sofa bed to play soccer at the LGBT games in Putin’s Russia.
  • Jabba-the-Turd versus Shannon Bradford in an epic showdown in Argentina.

And many more…


Don’t Push the Button!

Kap’n Cy

You Go in the Morning, I Go at Night
Caribbean Sea

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TheBlot never go full hitler

TheBlot 14 Dictators screen captureMy latest article in TheBlot magazine (“14 Dictators and the Dickshit Things They Said”) was a blast to research. Did you know that one of the assassination attempts on Castro involved exploding mollusks or that Putin is a member of the Hells Angels?


It was Mark Twain who said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Let’s start counting the days because this is an ultimate compliment.

You can read my three-part Syrian series at TheBlot Magazine  (Wall St. New York).

Travelers' Tales humor books

Travelers' Tales humor booksCall for Humorous Travel Stories for Travelers’ Tales Anthology: Wake Up and Smell the Shit

I’m the editor for Wake Up and Smell the Shit, the Travelers’ Tales 2015 anthology of outrageous travel misadventures. You’re invited to submit your true stories of shitting, barfing, farting, bad situations, snakes, demons, hookers, robberies, accidents, peculiar medical procedures, hilarious sex-ploits, gun-toting drug crazed militants, or bureaucrats gone wild. This book can have it all. We want crazy travel stories that will make the reader laugh as they wake to the realities we are often protected from at home.

Travelers’ Tales is dubbed “the travel publishing giant” by Matador. Their books and stories are often award winning, sometimes bestselling, and the quality of writing is exceptional. If you’re not a pro at submitting to publishers, a good tip is to always read some of their work before sending them yours.

I’m looking forward to reading about your shitty trips, rollicking disasters, and upchuck-worthy experiences abroad.

(read more…)

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